Chaos, Control. Chaos, Control.

Deep breaths…you’re okay…you’re in control…

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You’re less than six degrees of separation away from Ethan Hawke…because you met him at your street’s block party. No lie, I honestly met Ethan Hawke at my street’s block party. He was chilling drinking a beer and eating a bratwurst. His in-laws live on my street. Surreal to see a celeb blending into that environment, wearing a baseball cap.

And less than six degrees of separation away from Tommy Wiseau, because you met him at a midnight showing of The Room. You got hit by a lot of plastic spoons. It was fun.

You also interact on Twitter with semi-famous people from reality tv shows.

I cannot stay coherent for long at all. I think the only reason I’m able to write about anything other than anger or depression right now is because it’s mildly chilly outside today. I need summer to leave, I can’t think with all this sun. It’s too much sun. The sun hurts people. And earth worms.

I was lying in bed last Friday night telling myself, “You’re in control.” I felt really good saying that. But then the next day I realized I wasn’t staying true to that concept, I was losing it. So I completely crashed, because of how disappointed I was with myself.

“You’re in control of how people affect you. Only you are in control of how people affect you.”

Refresh your brain. Happy thoughts. Pixie dust. Peter Pan’s ship sailing through the sky. Trivial things. Pictures that make you feel good for a second. The color your eyes naturally are. The color your hair naturally isn’t (but it’s a really good color). Boyfriend. Going to the movies. Cheesecake. Starbucks treat receipts. Pinball bars (esp. for the Creature from the Black Lagoon machine). Baseball games. Nazi Propaganda museum exhibits. People you miss. Shakespeare in the Park. Spending time with your boyfriend’s family. Nice walks with your boyfriend in the morning. Nice walks with your boyfriend in the evening. Late nights of Netflix and Hulu with your boyfriend. Summer ending…

See, it’s not all bad.

pout  cheesecakelollipopsbenonstoop  cardinals game d&s chess museum pinballpaps  treat receipt 2 windowcreeppropaganda IMG02955-20150723-1835 tommydericsub brotherssoblonde

By the way, I keep deleting posts if I think they give off too much negative energy.

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