The anniversary of my deadly kidney stone attack is approaching, and with that comes x-rays and ultrasounds. The x-ray on Thursday morning was fine, but what really took the cake was the ultrasound. I had not gotten coffee yet, so as soon as I laid down with a blanket over my legs I felt like sleeping. I even said to the ultrasound technician, “I’m gonna fall asleep.” The room was dark but had a relaxing glow about it, and the gel she put on my stomach was warm. I’ll be plain, I actually really like my body at this point in my life simply because it’s healthy, so these kinds of medical occasions are nice.
The clinician was a young friendly woman who enjoyed chatting and was quite enthusiastic about her job. As she was pressing the sensor along my abdomen she said, “You scan pretty. I could scan you all day.” What? Is this some kind of bizarre innards fetish that people in the medical field develop?
All she meant was that she could easily see my insides. It was just a funny way of putting it.
While on the topic, I’ll mention that I always schedule my psychiatrist appointments for 8am on either Thursday or Tuesday, because those are the only days my psychiatrist is in the office. I always have to notify my boss that I might be a bit late to work on those mornings, because her office is in the opposite direction of my work. I do not tell him that it’s a psychiatrist appointment, just that it’s a doctor appointment. Frankly, he’s a bit nosy in a concerned way, and the last time I told him I had to go to the doctor he noted that I do so quite often and that he’s worried about me. He did not say this with great seriousness, but it made me self-conscious. I came into work late after my x-ray & ultrasound appointments last week, and was comfortable explaining to him that I was undergoing examinations before seeing the urologist who performed my lithotripsy last June. He then asked, “Do you have to go to a lot of checkups for that?” I said not really. I’m pretty sure that he was trying to figure out why I have such frequent doctor’s appointments.
Lately falling asleep at night has been difficult, and as I lie in bed I have something akin to butterflies in my stomach. Not quite butterflies, maybe fireflies? I at least have been transitioning into spring more calmly than anticipated and have accepted that my sweaters & leggings must be laid to rest for the time being. All I need right now is to maintain positive energy levels and focus on health.