A Novel Epiphany

This is the first time in my life that I’ve seriously thought about writing a novel. I’m kind of confused. I’m a film person. But filmmaking is crazy hard. Crazy crazy crazy. How do people do it? When I was much younger, I’d watch the all-encompassing credits roll at the end of a movie, and I’d feel so intimidated. What a daunting thing. I never thought I’d be a film person. But here I am, with degrees in Literature & Film, worshipping Stanley Kubrick, and working on Final Cut Pro eight hours of the day. Filmmaking is such a demanding creative task because you have to figure out how to realistically execute your ideas. You have to tangibly interact with reality. You have to fight with it, and the fight is bloody. I sometimes have thoughts about how film is more satisfying than writing, since such an exhausting amount of work goes into transforming sequences of ideas into something that others can see, hear, and feel. I can go on and on and on about why film transcends other art forms. I feel extremely humbled by film. But right now I am very attracted to writing. Simply writing. If I had to pinpoint a single word to describe writing, it would be “freeing.” Well there you go, I’ve pinpointed it for you. Conceiving images and actions, and not having to worry about how to meticulously make them happen in front of a camera? Wow! The story that I’m developing was originally supposed to be an avant-garde cinematic piece, but it got to a place where its execution is simply not possible at this point in time. When I realized the limitations of my current resources and skills, it occurred to me that I could keep developing this idea with no fear of reality. I could create as many people as I wanted, and they could go anywhere, with no practical aspects to keep in mind. No budget, no tedious production to coordinate, no complex post-production to work through…you can do anything! After four years of thinking that film is the only way I want to communicate, I consider this a refreshing epiphany.

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