I thought that I was coming to the end of a depression spell today, but I’m still not able to get my thoughts together or return to the things I was excited about last week. I know I am in a depressed state when I constantly feel too fatigued to form satisfying ideas, I accidentally fall asleep really early, and I get stuck in long, unpleasant dream sequences. Terrible contrast to last week. Just a few nights ago I felt like a million fantastic images and words were spilling out of my brain. My brain is pretty tense right now, though. And I keep getting negative feelings in my gut.
I will say, at least we’ve now made it official that my boyfriend is flying to St. Louis on January 4th and staying for a week. Something to look forward to during Christmas, even though he won’t be with me for the holidays.
The office party on Saturday night went fairly well. I was still feeling quite good. Felt invisible a few times but overall I got along fine.
My rats are napping in a super cute rat pile right now.
The creative ideas that I had last week during my hypomanic state are still getting some support. I think this will help me adjust back to a productive, positive mood.
I feel like dyeing my hair a light color but probably won’t because my hair is too dark to mess with.
I felt considerably better today than I did yesterday. Or else I wouldn’t be able to even write this shitty blog post.