Make It Blue

I sort of wish that I had worn blue today. Wearing purple was nice, and this morning I thought I looked really cute in my outfit. Yet somehow, today seemed like it would have been better with blue. I have a new blue cardigan that is perfectly comfy. It keeps me warm but is not too heavy. I like that it is a soft, mellow color. I’m going to wear it tomorrow night with a casual dress. I am going to be comfortable and subdued at the office party.

I managed to punch out a full draft of my short story today…at my supervisor’s request! I shared my work with one of my coworkers, who is very nice in a big brother sort of way. Not 1984 Big Brother…just the kind of big brother every lonely girl wants. He said it was incredibly imaginative and descriptive, but he’ll have to read it again. I really do not know if anyone at work will understand how much the story makes sense for someone who is mentally ill. I did not directly tell him that I am mentally ill, but when he asked me what the story means to me, I explained certain things about mental illness a bit too familiarly. I almost told him that some elements of the story are inspired by my own experiences. He noted that people with mental illnesses are able to access more profundity than others can, and I captured that. Yes. Thank you.

Also today, I pitched my morbid animated short film idea to the boss. He was certainly amused. He said he really likes the idea, but right now it is too dark and does not convey a good message. I was very pleased that, instead of just turning it down, he told me to continue working on the idea to make it better. :)

All in all, today was not a failure. In some ways, I felt myself slipping. I felt frustrated, fatigued, and concerned. But at least today wasn’t a failure.

In other news, I have a stray rat roaming around in my room.

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