I’m pretty indifferent about the monarchy, being an American and just rolling my eyes at Princess Kate on all the magazine covers, but this assassination attempt really peeves me. Let me get this straight. You were going to stab (although more likely, you were just going to shoot) an 88-year-old woman??? 4 men against 1 little old lady. Wow. Were you jealous of how she’s able to pull off all those adorable hats? You look really stupid right now, having been caught; but you would have looked stupider had you succeeded. I’m so sorry that your grand plans to attack this 88-year-old woman, in the name of your fucked up extremism, have been foiled. Now cry to your mommies like the big fat babies that you are.
Happy Sunday, everybody.