How I would like to be spending Saturday night:
How I actually am spending Saturday night:
Oh, except I don’t have that “Better Batter.” Or that dude.
Wait, my perfect Saturday night consists of Alex hitting on me in a fuzzy warbles shop?
Yes, Yes, Yes.
Not hard to make up my rassoodok on this one! If I could go on a date with a fictional character, it would be Alex, for these reasons:
1. The man really has a devilish way with words:
“What you got back home, little sister, to play your fuzzy warbles on? I bet you got, say, pitiful, portable picnic players. Come with uncle and hear all proper! Hear angels’ trumpets and devils’ trombones. You are invited!”
2. I do not enjoy alcohol, so I’m particularly fond of men who prefer milk laced with drugs.
3. I imagine that a nighttime drive with Alex in his Durango ’95 would give me a nice, warm vibraty feeling all through my guttiwuts. But no droogs are allowed to come along with us on our date night!
4. Alex knows that Beethoven is fantastic date music and it really sets the mood for, well, you know…
Drinking at the Korova Milk Bar, viddying an ol’ sinny, slooshying to Beethoven, and spatting the nochy away…sounds like a dream date to me!
Would Alex be a suitable long-term malchick droogie? God, no. But a night out with him in that weird dystopian wonderland would be real horrorshow. I’m sure I could convince him to pop some bagel bites in the oven after all of our fun has been had.